Monthly Archives: May 2012

• Because when I argued that 2 children were enough, she ignored me.

• Because when I argued that 3 children were enough, she laughed at me.

• Because when I argued that 4 children were enough, she told me to mind my own business.

• And because when I argued that 5 children were enough, she paused (at least so far…).

• Because when I return home from a long day at the office, whining about my difficulties and petty aggravations, she tells me to shut up and bathe the kids.

• Because when I find myself drowning in only a thimble of water, she convinces me that I’m strong enough to handle anything (or at least she’ll empty the thimble).

• Because just when I start to feel either a bit too cool or self-righteous, she reminds me that I’m being an idiot.

• Because she taught me that enough is as good as a feast.

• Because she somehow convinced me that I actually like to take all 5 kids to 8:30 am mass every Sunday.

• Because of her unequalled ability to clean the most disgusting diaper with only half a wipey (Confession: I require a minimum of  22 wipies per change).

• Because she teaches tolerance, patience, self-sacrifice and compromise. Not by her own actions, of course, but by requiring such of her husband.

• Because when I’m daydreaming about a sexy woman, I actually think of her! (What’s wrong with me !? How did she ever surpass Cindy Crawford?)

• Because she makes me believe I can actually dance salsa (as long as there are no revealing mirrors in the vicinity to prove otherwise).

• Because she reminds me that I’m not nearly as smart as I think I am. In fact, that I’m not even half as smart as I think I am. Or a quarter. OK, because she reminds me that I’m not very smart.

• Because she listens to my piano-playing and singing as though she has not heard each and every song 35,567 times before.

• Because she makes me want to be a better husband, father, son, brother and friend.

• Because a severe hypochondriac can only function when married to a woman who lives in complete denial of any medical threats.

• Because she’s beautiful. Not that it matters, of course… I mean it matters, but not in her case… I mean I love her just the way she looks… …which is great,  I mean… Oh shoot….

• Because she’s most attractive when covered by 5 kids in our bed, each fighting for the best position (usually leaving me alone at the foot of the bed).

• Because she has enough self-confidence for the two of us.

• Because while beautifully raising 5 kids, she still managed to fit in a professional career.

• Because despite being confident, capable and strong, she’s still just vulnerable enough to need my love.

• Because she believes that God loves me, even if I’m rather doubtful.

• Because she chose me! (true story, ask her yourself)

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• And because without her, I’d be lost forever.

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In life, we can little control how others choose to portray us. Our reaction to such portrayals, however, speaks volumes about our character.

Such is the case of yesterday’s scathing Washington Post expose on the young Mitt Romney, and Mitt’s very telling response.

While an editorial decision to make a high-school incident – nearly 50 years ago – a front-page, 5000+ word expose smacks of bias and political hatchetry, Romney nevertheless was left in the unenviable position of having to respond to very disturbing charges.

So how does a man respond to horrific allegations that he led a group of bullies in a physical assault on a shy and awkward student — knocking him to the ground, pinning him down and cutting off his hair – all while the young boy lay crying and screaming for help?

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Option 1: If the story is simply a lie, defend yourself.

“This story is a cruel fabrication and simply did not occur. I would never participate in such disgusting behavior. The Washington Post should be ashamed of their irresponsible reporting. There is really nothing more I can add.”

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Option 2: If the story is true, admit it, humbly apologize and move on.

“This is an incident that occurred nearly 50 years ago. Even though I was only a child myself at the time, I have always felt ashamed about my behavior and offer my most sincere apologies to his family. This, however, is not the man I became – as evidenced by 50 years of moral living since then. There is really nothing more I can add.”

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Option 3: Respond with cowardice and dishonesty.

“Gee, I just don’t remember anything about it.”

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Confronted with these 3 options, Mitt reflects deeply, silently prays and searches the depths of  his soul. Having fully weighed these options, he makes a thoughtful decision and addresses the national media:

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“I’d like Option 3, please.”

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Aaaah!

The old   “I can’t remember if I led a group assault on a boy, while he lay helplessly on the ground crying for help” defense.

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Forgiving a man for a cruel act that he may have committed nearly 50 years ago is easy.

Forgiving that man for lying about it today is not.

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