As some of you already know, my lovely wife’s political views are not always consistent with mine. Stated in a slightly more accurate manner, my wife’s political views are never consistent with mine.
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As a result, she won’t even read this blog — as she put it to me recently, “I abandoned your blog the day you wrote that increasing taxes might be “OK”…“
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With all the indignation I could muster, I warned her that by skipping my blog, she will someday miss an article that she’ll really regret she’d missed. She then scoffed at me and left to read someone else (probably that little-known blogger, George Will…).
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To prove that I am capable of writing an article she’d actually enjoy, I now present for the world: Why I Love My Wife.
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The reasons are all a bit embarrassing, all very sappy and all very true.
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I hope that one day she finds this article….. and I will be vindicated!
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WHY I LOVE MY WIFE
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- Because when I argued that 2 children were enough, she ignored me.
- Because when I argued that 3 children were enough, she laughed at me.
- Because when I argued that 4 children were enough, she told me to mind my own business.
- And because when I argued that 5 children were enough, she paused (at least so far…).
- Because when I return home from a long day at the office, whining about my difficulties and petty aggravations, she tells me to shut up and bathe the kids.
- Because when I find myself drowning in only a thimble of water, she convinces me that I’m strong enough to handle anything (or at least she’ll empty the thimble).
- Because just when I start to feel either a bit too cool or self-righteous, she reminds me that I’m being an idiot.
- Because she taught me that enough is as good as a feast.
- Because she somehow convinced me that I actually like to take all 5 kids to 8:30 am mass every Sunday.
- Because of her unequalled ability to clean the most disgusting diaper with only half a wipey (Confession: I require a minimum of 22 wipies per change).
- Because she teaches tolerance, patience, self-sacrifice and compromise. Not by her own actions, of course, but by requiring such of her husband.
- Because when I’m daydreaming about a sexy woman, I actually think of her! (What’s wrong with me !? How did she ever surpass Cindy Crawford?)
- Because she makes me believe I can actually dance salsa (as long as there are no revealing mirrors in the vicinity to prove otherwise).
- Because she reminds me that I’m not nearly as smart as I think I am. In fact, that I’m not even half as smart as I think I am. Or a quarter. OK, because she reminds me that I’m not very smart.
- Because she listens to my piano-playing and singing as though she has not heard each and every song 35,567 times before.
- Because she makes me want to be a better husband, father, son, brother and friend.
- Because a severe hypochondriac can only function when married to a woman who lives in complete denial of any medical threats.
- Because she’s beautiful. Not that it matters, of course… I mean it matters, but not in her case… I mean I love her just the way she looks… …which is great, I mean… Oh shoot….
- Because she’s most attractive when covered by 5 kids in our bed, each fighting for the best position (usually leaving me alone at the foot of the bed).
- Because she has enough self-confidence for the two of us.
- Because while beautifully raising 5 kids, she still managed to fit in a professional career.
- Because despite being confident, capable and strong, she’s still just vulnerable enough to need my love.
- Because she believes that God loves me, even if I’m rather doubtful.
- Because she chose me! (true story, ask her yourself)
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- And because without her, I’d be lost forever.
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the politically challenged 