Monthly Archives: May 2011

The Immigration Solution: The Carrot & The Stick


“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”


With these words, Lady Liberty welcomed millions of our desperate and frightened grandparents to the shores of Ellis Island.

The disclaimer, “Unless you’re a Mexican laborer”, was apparently a recent addendum.

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Rare in politics is there an overwhelming national problem for which there is actually a simple, practical and highly effective solution. Illegal immigration is this rare beast.

In fact, the solution here is so darn practical, it’s really difficult to argue against it (and nearly impossible to offer a better alternative).

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The Facts:

• 11 million illegal immigrants live in the United States. Contrary to political ads, these are not 11 million men. This number includes millions of mothers, children and grandmothers — many of whom have been living here for more than a generation. Many young adults, brought here as children, don’t even speak their parents’ native tongue. For these young adults, America is the only home they have ever known.

• Although immigrants significantly contribute to our national economy (spending billions of dollars as consumers), they are also a significant economic burden on public services (e.g. schools, hospitals).

• Nearly all illegal immigrants have been enticed to immigrate here by Americans wanting cheap labor. With a wink and a nod, we have let them know that immigration and employment laws will not be enforced. By offering them work — usually doing jobs we would not do ourselves, and at wages far below poverty standards —  we have long extended an invitation to immigrate, work and live here.

• Illegal immigrants live their lives in the shadows of our society, always in mortal fear of deportation — a fear especially profound and damaging for the children of these immigrants.

• The lack of a comprehensive federal immigration policy has left many states overburdened and unable to manage this problem at the state and local levels.

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The Philosophy:

It is unimaginable, immoral and logistically impossible to think that we are going to identify, arrest and deport 11 million people. Only the most callous and, frankly, un-American of us can imagine rounding up a family of five — a family who may have been living, working and attending school here for ten years— driving them to the Mexican border and simply pushing them off the bus. These are people that fled their country in order to survive. There are no homes waiting for them back in their native countries.

It is equally immoral for us to entice families to immigrate here and then make them live in the shadows as sub-humans. It is not who we are as Americans. We are a country of immigrants.

At the same time, it is equally clear that we must protect our nation both fiscally and socially — which requires very real restrictions on immigration and responsible regulation of immigrants.

Therefore, we need a solution that affords limited protection for these immigrants (allowing them to live productive lives and contribute to our society), while at the same time permiting our country to legally regulate and monitor this group.

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The Solution:

1. All illegal immigrants must register with the government by a fixed date (at post  offices, DMV…). This is a one-time deal.  If you do not register, you are not protected. No exceptions.

2. Applicants will be given “Temporary Protective Status” and issued a national ID card (with fingerprint and holographic security features).

3. Federal TPS Database is then established — with names, photographs, fingerprints, criminal backgrounds and security data on each immigrant.

4. Applicant will be excluded (and deported) if any significant criminal offense.

5. Within 12 months, ALL employers (from corporations to household maids) must check all employees with this new database. If any employer is found with a non-registered illegal immigrant, a severe fine will be assessed. Employers will be routinely inspected and the law will be aggressively enforced. The immediate effect will be to completely STOP all illegal employment.

6. Since 95+ % of illegal immigration consists of the poor seeking work, the inflow of illegal immigrants will virtually vanish — without the need of costly fences or security checkpoints. If there is simply no chance for illegal work (or free public education for their children), the overwhelming majority will just not come.  We can then focus our limited resources on the real dangers associated with border control: terrorism & drug trafficking.

7. An individual’s status will be checked only when seeking work, public education or if arrested (no raids on public busses…). Registered immigrants are not required to carry their TPS cards.

8. To maintain TPS, must re-register every 3 years and maintain non-criminal status.

9. TPS does not give full protections of regular citizens (no minimum wage, no worker’s compensation or unemployment benefits…).

10.  If we want to provide a possible path to citizenship (and we do not have to), very rigorous requirements can be established (e.g. 10 years of residency, non-criminal status, 5 years of tax returns, civics and English classes, military service, etc…).

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So that’s it — a real solution to a real problem. Humane, just, practical and effective.

Your grandparents would be very proud.

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Newt Gingrich: Our Most Patriotic Adulterer

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“There’s no question at times of my life, partially

driven by how passionately I felt about this country,

that I worked far too hard and things happened

in my life that were not appropriate.”

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So explains Newt Gingrich to The Christian Broadcasting Network, clarifying for the public exactly why he cheated on his first two wives.

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Newt’s Brief History:

1.            Marriage—–Cheat—–Divorce

2.            Marriage—–Cheat—–Divorce

3.            Marriage—–Obtain God’s Forgiveness—–Run for President of the                    United States as the Pro-Marriage-Family-Values Candidate.

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And while we had naively assumed his infidelity was merely the result of immoral, corrupt and dishonest behavior, it turns out that he was just too darn patriotic!

And if you cannot now embrace him as your Pro-Marriage-Family-Values-Kind-of-Guy, he would like you to know that you are a gay, secular fascist, socialist, communist Kenyan, anti-Colonial Nazi.

And now this fierce patriotism is making him run for President. His patriotism apparently is really powerful stuff — powerful enough to allow extreme hubris to trump any sense of decency, humility or personal integrity.

In fact, all this patriotism should make his third wife very, very nervous.

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Medicare’s Terminal Diagnosis

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The Benefit
:              State-of-the-Art Medical Care.

The Benficiaries:       All retirees, for life.

Current Status:         Medicare provides outstanding healthcare to our                                          seniors, as it rapidly bankrupts our nation.

Cost:                         1965:      1% of GDP       2010:     10% of GDP

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THE BENEFIT: “State-of-the Art Medical Care.” What we had considered state-of-the art medical care in 1965 does not even resemble today’s advanced care. In fact, 1960’s medical care more resembles medieval medicine than anything seen today. Such radical medical advancements inevitably bring enormous increases in cost.

1965:                                                     2010:

Check-up with family Doc                      Every Doc a Specialist

Chest X-ray                                           CT Scan, MRI & PET Scan

Gallbladder Surgery                              Cardiac By-Pass & Hip Replacement

Penicillin ($1 per treatment)                  Avastin ($100,000 per year)

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THE BENEFICIARIES: Those Darn Demographics!  A simple review of the the demographics here points out the “beneficiaries” problem. We are now facing a huge increase in the number of beneficiaries, a marked increase in the number of years each will be receiving the benefit, and a shocking decrease in the number of current workers supporting each beneficiary.

1965:                                                      2010:

16 workers per beneficiary                     3.3 workers per beneficiary

Fewer retirees                                        Baby Boomers retire (huge)

Short benefit (life expect: 70 yr)             More years of benefits (expect: 79 yr)

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“DOC, GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT: AM I GONNA MAKE IT?”

Medicare, as we have known it, is clearly on its deathbed and cannot be saved. Our challenge, then, is to create a far leaner and more efficient program that will allow us to care for our citizens without bankrupting the nation.

We will simply have to decide what percentage of our GDP can be reasonably spent on healthcare, and then set that number as a fixed maximum. Period. Working backward from this number, terribly painful decisions will then have to me made, limiting both the benefit offered and the intended beneficiaries.

Limiting “The Beneficiaries“: This will be painful, but is easily implemented. The benefit will simply have to begin at a later age, and partial means-testing will be necessary.

Limiting “The Benefit” This will feel more like amputation without anesthesia. We simply have no choice but to “limit” components of health-care offered (let the chants begin:  “Rationing!”…”Death Panels!“…). While such a change seems contrary to our very nature as Americans, facts are facts and numbers are numbers. We can either offer the world to everyone and destroy our country in the process, or we can redefine what a compassionate country can actually afford to offer its citizens, and simply offer our best..

Medicare, it was nice while it lasted. Rest In Peace.

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It’s the Stupid, Stupid! (Dear Birthers)

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Dear Birthers:

There are a host of very defensible reasons why you may not like our President. And I am confident that nearly all fall into the broad category of “reasonable”.

But when  “Obama was born in Kenya”  is your explanation,  I’m a bit concerned.

I’m concerned because maintaining such a claim at this point will clearly place you into at least one of two groups: the Morons or the Bigots** [See Below].

If you are just a moron, then I forgive you. It will still be disturbing to hear your rants, but a moron is a moron and you cannot help yourself. You have been betrayed by your gene pool and I will not make fun of your disability.

If you are a bigot, however… well……… I still forgive you. For a bigot is also a moron, and as I have stated, a moron is just a moron.

In either case, though, I thought I might help you to disguise your disability with a short exercise. I’ve compiled a list of some very reasonable explanations why you might dislike — or even detest — our President. I thought we might say them out loud together to practice for the next time you feel the need to bash him.

Let’s give it a try, shall we?  All together now:

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         “He’s too liberal!”

         “He’s too inexperienced!”

         “He’s too apologetic!”

         “He’s too professorial!”       (Pssst…that means he acts like a teacher.)

               “...he’s too black!”         (No, no, no. I heard you. Try again…)

               “…he has huge ears!”   (….. I guess, but…)

         “His policies are damaging this country!”    (Much better!)

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There.  I knew you could do it!

Warm Regards,

S.

[** There is a third group: the Fake Birthers — those opportunists who fully know the truth, but are feeding and manipulating the Birthers like lemmings for their own political gain. They are the worst of the worst, for they are not ignorant (pitiable), but immoral and corrupt and I will not waste my time on them.]

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